# For all of us that have raised our kids...............



## 220swift (Mar 2, 2011)

Is there a magic cutoff period when offspring become accountable for their own actions? Is there a wonderful moment when parents can become detached spectators in the lives of their children and shrug, "It's their life, and feel nothing?"

When I was in my twenties, I stood in a hospital corridor waiting for doctors to put a few stitches in my son's head. I asked, "When do you stop worrying?" The nurse said, "When they get out of the accident stage." My mother just smiled faintly and said nothing.

When I was in my thirties, I sat on a little chair in a classroom and heard how one of my children talked incessantly, disrupted the class, and I considered the thought that my child was headed for a career making license plates. As if to read my mind the teacher said, "Don't worry, they all go through this stage and then you can sit back, relax and enjoy them." My mother just smiled faintly and said nothing.

When I was in my forties, I spent a lifetime waiting for the phone to ring, the cars to come home, the front door to open. A friend said, "They're trying to find themselves. Don't worry, in a few years, you can stop worrying. They'll be adults." My mother just smiled faintly and said nothing.

By the time I was 50, I was sick & tired of being vulnerable. I was still worrying over my children, but there was a new wrinkle. There was nothing I could do about it. My mother just smiled faintly and said nothing. I continued to anguish over their failures, be tormented by their frustrations and absorbed in their disappointments.

My friends said that when my kids got married I could stop worrying and lead my own life. I wanted to believe that, but I was haunted by my mother's warm smile and her occasional, "You look pale. Are you all right? Call me the minute you get home. Are you depressed about something?"

Can it be that parents are sentenced to a lifetime of worry? Is concern for one another handed down like a torch to blaze the trail of human frailties and the fears of the unknown? Is concern a curse or is it a virtue that elevates us to the highest form of life?

One of my children became quite irritable recently, saying to me, "Where were you? I've been calling for 3 days, and no one answered. I was worried." I smiled a warm smile. The torch has been passed!


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## hassell (Feb 9, 2010)

Good Post !! So true in so many ways, when the kids have grown up and move out, life will be better HA! Whoever thought that one up has been smoking the other stuff. The new generation -- don't interfere in our lives and tell us things we already know cause we know everything BUT make sure you keep us in your will. And the list goes on, be thankful of your health, happiness and companionship of others.


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## loic (May 8, 2012)

LOL, yep, we are in for life

Sent from my PG86100 using Tapatalk 2


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## azpredatorhunter (Jul 24, 2012)

I am going to be a grandpa next month. At least she waited till I was 44!...


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## youngdon (Mar 10, 2010)

Now You'll worry about the grandchild (congrats) and the child. But it's a good worry.


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## 220swift (Mar 2, 2011)

Good for you az!!

We are up to 9 grandkids from 3 of the 4 kids. Now we worry are the grandkids doing OK, not so much for the kids, for us "the torch has been passed".


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## 220swift (Mar 2, 2011)

_I have promised all the kids "I WILL live long enough to be a problem to them".....................LOL_


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## azpredatorhunter (Jul 24, 2012)

Thanx guys..


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## hassell (Feb 9, 2010)

Cindy will be a great grandmother any day now, guess that will make me a step great grandfather HA !!!


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## 220swift (Mar 2, 2011)

hassell, good for you guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## hassell (Feb 9, 2010)

220swift said:


> hassell, good for you guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


 Thanks !!! Don't really like that term, kinda rhymes with old ???


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## knapper (Feb 5, 2010)

You only stop worrying about them when you pas the torch on to your kids and that is the way of the world. The circle of like.


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## prairiewolf (Feb 19, 2012)

Congratulations Az and hassell ! Well I think Ive passed the torch to the youngest, the oldest still hasnt grown up yet and he is 44 !!


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## knapper (Feb 5, 2010)

prairiewolf said:


> Congratulations Az and hassell ! Well I think Ive passed the torch to the youngest, the oldest still hasnt grown up yet and he is 44 !!


Even as I get older my mind writes checks that my body can't cash.


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## Paul-e (Sep 16, 2012)

The only ones that worry are the ones that care! To worry is not neccesarily a bad thing


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## DeereGuy (Feb 1, 2012)

Great post... both my daughters are grown and on their own...I have a 8 month old grandson now.... I still worry but now I have 1 SIL and a grandson to worry about also...)

Sent from my DROID BIONIC using Tapatalk 2


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## 220swift (Mar 2, 2011)

hassell said:


> Thanks !!! Don't really like that term, kinda rhymes with old ???


I prefer "seasoned"....................LOL


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## fr3db3ar (Aug 6, 2011)

I may be cold but I let mine go a long time ago. One was old enough to take care of herself and joined the AF. Since moved on and into civilian life.

The other knew enough of everything to go get married @ 16.

It seems the older they get the smarter I was


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## Bigdrowdy1 (Jan 29, 2010)

I wrote a whole 3 or 4 paragraphs as a response and decided to say I can relate just waiting for that torch moment!!!!!!!!!!! LOL I really like the word seasoned!!! Thanks 220 well said


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## 220swift (Mar 2, 2011)




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## Rick Howard (Feb 25, 2012)

Reason number 1034 that we do not have kids....


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## jer218 (Apr 8, 2012)

so this is what I have to looks forward too? I want my boys to stay the same age they are now. 3 and 7. so fun and so inquisitive on everything that me and my wife do.


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## youngdon (Mar 10, 2010)

lol good luck with that....You'll really enjoy them at an older age also, It's really special when they start to make their own informed decisions. There will be times between now and then that you may wish, just for a second, that you had used protection that night..or day or whenever it was. LOL


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## Rick Howard (Feb 25, 2012)

lol I am not sure why carrying a gun to bed will prevent kids Don......


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## youngdon (Mar 10, 2010)

LOL I said USED protection. I think most women would find a bullet wound to be a turn off...of coarse then you'd probably be in jail and hoping to NOT have an encounter.


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## Bigdrowdy1 (Jan 29, 2010)

Itzy ,hind sight would been 20 20 or a double tewevle ga.!


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## Varmintnv (Aug 17, 2012)

Yea, although I love my son and thoroughly enjoyed raising him. If I'd known what was gonna happen, I'd have never let the wife con me into playing that "Romance" game!! LOL


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## Rick Howard (Feb 25, 2012)

youngdon said:


> LOL I said USED protection.


"used protection" Now that is just gross. New ones are not that expensive! Am I twisting words up again? I hate when I do that. It makes for some memorable blunders.


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## Rick Howard (Feb 25, 2012)

Bigdrowdy1 said:


> Yea, although I love my son and thoroughly enjoyed raising him. If I'd known what was gonna happen, I'd have never let the wife con me into playing that "Romance" game!! LOL


Mine can be very convincing.... I have learned to not match wits.... or listen..... last I remember we were on the same page..... if she changes her mind. I am sure she will come up with a way to make it my idea.


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