# **********too drunk**********



## 220swift (Mar 2, 2011)

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## youngdon (Mar 10, 2010)

I been there a time or two.... Thankfully it has been many years ( and no trees were harmed)


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## glenway (Mar 27, 2011)

Hey, 220, we know what kind of "grass" they're grabbing onto in Colorado, too.


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## hassell (Feb 9, 2010)

glenway said:


> Hey, 220, we know what kind of "grass" they're grabbing onto in Colorado, too.


 Yes I'll have to agree with you on that note Glen, hopefully the VW van isn't too far away.


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## Rick Howard (Feb 25, 2012)

I tell you what, if pot becomes legal here.... I will open up shop the next day. Apparently it sells very well.


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## Rick Howard (Feb 25, 2012)

hassell said:


> Yes I'll have to agree with you on that note Glen, hopefully the VW van isn't too far away.


For sleeping not driving.... Right?


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## JTKillough (May 4, 2010)

Okay, this explains why you see all those divots on golf courses.........And my backyard! Hmmmmm Reminds me of a funny story about my buddy getting picked up for a "C.U.I."


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## youngdon (Mar 10, 2010)

Do tell JT.....


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## JTKillough (May 4, 2010)

First off, I do not condone or partake in the use of alcohol. Lets just say he (a buddy) was very inebriated. Got into a little jam, lost contact with his DD and proceeded home afoot. Soon thereafter, found it a lot easier to just crawl. It cuts down on the falls, scapes and bruising that accompanies such behavior. Just so you know, it's tough to out crawl the law. Rumor had it that he made quite an attempt at fleeing, but his hands and knees gave out. Hence the C.U.I (Crawling Under the Influence).


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## Rick Howard (Feb 25, 2012)

Hahaha!

Now days I live in total consciousness. I have spent some time crawling in my past.


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## Agney5 (Sep 28, 2013)

If this is going to turn into a story thread I've got a winner, you haven't been drunk till you're crap your pants drunk.


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## youngdon (Mar 10, 2010)

LOL OK lets hear it !


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## sneakygroundbuzzard (Nov 1, 2012)

youngdon said:


> I been there a time or two.... Thankfully it has been many years ( and no trees were harmed)


been there more times than i can remember

yup thats right been so drunk when it happened i dont remember it happening lol



itzDirty said:


> I tell you what, if pot becomes legal here.... I will open up shop the next day. Apparently it sells very well.


me too, and i will get a growers license too

but i will also open a subway store that is attached to the recreational pharmecutical supply store

the only exit will be thru the subway


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## Agney5 (Sep 28, 2013)

Well it is a long one but I think it is worth the read. This story is about the same guy who stared in The tale of an epic miss. There names for the stories purpose will be Chris (a tale of an epic miss guy) and George (usual hunting partner). Almost exactly a year ago myself Chris and George had plans to attend Illinois annual IGOLD event in Springfield Illinois. Well I had volunteered to help with the event and George lived in a small town close to Springfield so he agreed to let myself and Chris stay the night at his place.

The night before we meet at George's apartment, we go grab a bite to eat and decide why not hit the local purveyor of adult beverages for a couple drinks. Well long story short Chris and George have made friends with apparently everyone in the bar (they are both much more sociable than I am) and we were getting drinks from everyone. Well I stopped drinking since I had to be up early and drive us back, well much to my surprise it is now 230 and they are kicking us out of the bar this on a Tuesday night.

So we are back at the apartment and George is upstairs and has fallen asleep already, but Chris and I are staying downstairs on the couches. I'm laying down to go to sleep and Chris says "I need to puke" well Chris doesn't puke when he drinks at least I've never witnessed it. So I tell him go upstairs and puke (where the bathroom is) so he heads upstairs and I stay up to make sure he is ok well probably 10 min later I hear him calling the dinosaurs so he'll be fine (or at least that's my thoughts) and I go to sleep.

At 530 I awake to what sounds like a damn boom box playing coming from upstairs, the first thing I notice is Chris is not downstairs. Well I head up stairs and George is still passed out and his alarm is blaring, I wake him up to shut it off and head down stairs but on my way down I notice this pungent smell. I don't think much about it since I'm still pretty groggy myself. Well I get back to sleep and at 730 my alarm goes off and I get up and notice Chris is back downstairs so I wake him up and it is clear he is still feeling pretty rough. I head back upstairs and the smell is still there and there appears to be a stain on the carpet not there before. I wake George up and inform him of the stain, we walk out to the hall way and George begins his investigation of what is on the carpet. I head to the shower as George is poking it, I get out of the shower and at this time George informs me what was on the carpet is fecal material.

After that it all comes together, apparently Chris came upstairs to puke and did so. However it appears as he went to head back downstairs he felt the need to vomit again and in an attempt to hold it in he shat his pants. He got to the bathroom and commenced to crapping and puking all at the same time, I can only imagine his pain.

If you thought that was the end of the story you're in for a surprise. We go to the event and Chris is still clearly intoxicated and not feeling well. At some point after sobering up a bit Chris heads to the bathroom, only to realize that in his drunken attempt to get ready that morning he did not change his underwear. So in a public bathroom he has to dispose of his undergarments, keep in mind he is now commando and we will be spending about 3 hours outside in 30 degree weather.

Well the event is over and Chris is fully sobered up and is finally grasping the reality of what he has done, shame is now setting in. But he must now suffer through clean up and to make matters worse he apparently had changed into George's shorts and that is what he crapped in. So George now has crap on his carpet which he poked, and in his shorts. I don't know who I felt worse for but all in all it was a rather hilarious event and there is now a new level drunk to be measured against.

I hope everyone enjoyed the story I know my wife, our other friends, and every stranger that will listen has.


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## youngdon (Mar 10, 2010)

You can stay in a hotel if you come to visit me ! :teeth:


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## jswift (Dec 24, 2012)

Yuck....


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## 220swift (Mar 2, 2011)

glenway said:


> Hey, 220, we know what kind of "grass" they're grabbing onto in Colorado, too.


and we know who we have to thank for that, they're even telling their kids it's OK...........

http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/sideshow/girl-scout-sells-117-cookie-boxes-in-two-hours-outside-pot-dispensary-230640827.html​​
although I have to admit, pretty ingenious on the little girl's part.


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## hassell (Feb 9, 2010)

Geez how would she know that getting the munchies and smoking pot go together !!!


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## stevec (Jul 9, 2013)

I think I fell off the earth once. I know I time traveled once.

I cant believe I outlived my youth And thank God my kids don't act like I did!!!!!!

Steve


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## sneakygroundbuzzard (Nov 1, 2012)

agney5, that story was friggin hilarious

i had tears rolling down my cheeks by time i finished reading it


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## 22magnum (Feb 10, 2013)

Lmao agney5

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## dwtrees (Mar 5, 2012)

Yup Agny5 has a :roflmao: story there. I had a friend that liked to drink everclear (alot). One time he had tied one on and when we went to drop him off at home he insisted that we drop him off a block away from his house so he could sober up some before he went in. The next morning him mom calls and asked if we had seen him. I told her we dropped him off in front of the house and she said, I don't know where he is but he is not at home. I saw him later that day and asked him where he had slept. He looked at me with the dumbest look I had ever seen and asked me, Have you ever woke up and found out you were not at home? He said he thought he was going into his house but he had walked the wrong way and when he had gone a block he went into the corner house and passed out on the couch. He said when he woke up there was a man and lady standing there looking at him and asked him, who are you. He said he got up and said sorry, wrong house and walked out the door.

He is also the same guy that had a party at his moms house when she was out of town and passed out from the everclear (again) on the couch. Someone put a lit cigarette between his toes and it burned all the way through with out waking him up. He couldn't walk right for about 4 days.


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## Varmintnv (Aug 17, 2012)

Back in my younger days, I partied at my best friend's house. Got VERY drunk. I woke up about 4:30 in the morning, literall face down in the gutter in front of my parent's house right where I usually parked. My mother had just left for work and noticed that my truck was missing, but didn't see me laying in the gutter. I managed to get in the house and to bed without waking my dad. Next morning I went to leave and realized my truck was missing. Took me all day to track down my truck. Turns out I met a gal at the party and we left together about midnight. She dropped me off at my house and drove herself home in my truck. None of my friends at the party knew her name, and I remembered nothing. Only took 20 or so phone calls and 5 or 6 dead end trips to find my truck. By the time we found it the girl was gone to work and my keys were in her apt. Fortunately I had my spare key in my wallet, so I got my truck back. But it took me over a week to get my house and other keys back. And apparently I didn't even get laid that nite!!

Life's too short not to hunt coyotes!!


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## Sethah (Dec 23, 2013)

You're not drunk until you have to hold on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth!

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