# The Summary of Life



## youngdon (Mar 10, 2010)

GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back, they always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandma's lap.

GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD
1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
2) Forget the health food, I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.

SUCCESS:
At age 4 success is . . . . Not piddling in your pants.
At age 12 success is . .. . Having friends.
At age 17 success is . . Having a driver's license.
At age 35 success is . . . . Having money.
At age 50 success is .. . . Having money.
At age 70 success is . . . . Having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is . . . . . Having friends.
At age 80 success is . . .. . Not piddling in your pants.


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## knapper (Feb 5, 2010)

Another one to add is don't let your mind write and checks that your body can't cash.


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## Mattuk (Oct 16, 2010)

You've just ruined it for Roberta about Santa Claus! Very good Don!


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## hassell (Feb 9, 2010)

Reading all those is like reminiscing about life while growing up!!HA!!


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## youngdon (Mar 10, 2010)

Mattuk said:


> You've just ruined it for Roberta about Santa Claus! Very good Don!


You'll thank me later.


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## youngdon (Mar 10, 2010)

hassell said:


> Reading all those is like reminiscing about life while growing up!!HA!!


Reminiscing...... or flashbacks ?


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## hassell (Feb 9, 2010)

youngdon said:


> Reminiscing...... or flashbacks ?


Flashbacks without the lights!! I'm sure you took awhile typing it out or was that straight out of the diary? HA!!


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## hassell (Feb 9, 2010)

YD-- what's with the Men Read this posting, can't leave a comment so now that forum will show as unread posts on the site?


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## catcapper (Feb 11, 2010)

Same deal here Rick

Number 5 is great in the little children section.


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## HowlinRed (Feb 3, 2011)

knapper said:


> Another one to add is don't let your mind write and checks that your body can't cash.


Is that your mind or your mouth.


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## youngdon (Mar 10, 2010)

I think he meant mouth.

I don't have a clue what happened to that post, I tried to go back and edit it and had no luck.


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## knapper (Feb 5, 2010)

No I have it right I want to do the stuff that I did many years ago and reality and age keep me from it. MY wife will not let me take the boat out bear hunting or other trips with out some one else along. I can do walk in hunts for Yote and the like. If it has a motor on it I need supervision. Or someone to say that didn't look that bad.


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## El Gato Loco (Jan 15, 2010)

True story...


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## youngdon (Mar 10, 2010)

An 80 yr old mans wife gets a call from his doctor saying that they will need a urine sample, a semen sample, and a stool sample from her husband. When she told him that the doctor called the old man asked "what does he want?" the wife replied "he just wanted to make sure you wore underwear to your appointment tomorrow"


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